How Do We Get There?
Posted on Feb 19, 2012 | 26 comments
So here we are.
Today we woke up, we got dressed, we ate.
Maybe today we went off to some job we've been working at for the past 5 years. Or maybe we worked on putting some value back into that dream house of ours.
Maybe we kissed loved ones goodbye.
Maybe we sat on our butts and watched TV all day.
Whatever you did, good or bad, I'd like for you to answer one question.
How did you get to where you are today?
Pretend you're writing a "How To" book and you need to explain to someone the steps they need to take to live a life just like you.
What do you tell them?
What concrete plans, moments, or strategies would you suggest others do in order to achieve a lifestyle like yours?
What would you do differently?
Questions like this should not produce answers easily. This is your life we are talking about. It's complex. It has many layers. It's not a house - you don't just draw up a blueprint for it.
Think about it.
The Question Everybody Asks
If you get a chance, read this story. It's about a guy who wants to make a change in his life and is unsure how to do it.
I hear stories like this a lot.
Everyone wants to know:
How can I live a life like that?
And the reason everyone is asking questions like this is because they can not get the answer they want. We are all looking for some magic pill. Some blueprint that will tell us exactly what to do so we feel more secure in our decisions to change and pursue something different. We want guidebooks that will tell us how to make money at home, or be a better parent, or find happiness. We want someone to teach us how to take away the risk and get all the reward. But we're never going to find that.
How did you get where you are today?
Can we really answer this? Can we blueprint our lives for others?
The Only Answer You Need
People often talk about traveling the world as a lifestyle as if it is like going to the moon, but I wonder how strange going to moon seems for an astronaut.
My life has played out like this:
I was raised happily in the suburbs. Here I learned how to brush my teeth and ride my bike.
I went to high school and learned some things as well. Mostly stuff about sports.
I went to college and learned how to organize an essay, budget a small paycheck, and throw a party.
I got married and learned how to get a job, compromise, and save money.
I had kids and learned how to buy a house, potty train, be patient, and manage a busy lifestyle.
I showed up to work everyday and kept getting promoted. I learned that sticking with it works.
I had an idea and learned how to blog and write a bit.
And now I am learning how to travel the world and do something very new.
I couldn't tell you how I did any of the above, things just seemed to happen. And now, looking back, all of the things I have done in my life seem very ordinary and simple, but I know that if you had asked the 14 year-old version of myself to walk into a job interview or teach a 3 year-old boy how to pee standing up, he would have cringed. At some point in my life, all these seemingly simple things felt just like going to the moon, but once you're on the moon, you kind of get used to it. You understand it. Life gets easier.
The only thing you need to do to change and live the lifestyle you want is to just start doing it. Things will never go as planned, because there really is no plan. This is life. You never planned out every detail before, so why start now?
How do we get there?
We do. We start living, breathing, embracing, following, studying, wanting, organizing, loving, and confronting the things in life we truly want. We fight off the worries and the excuses. We surround ourselves with what we want and we learn as we go. Life is not an all-or-nothing game - we shouldn't treat it as such. We can change whenever we want.
For some time I wanted to travel with my family. I put off the idea for years not thinking it was possible or practical. I made excuses so I could watch TV and continue to use my money to satisfy my everyday impulses. I kept dreaming, second-guessing, and wound up getting nowhere.
And then, I actually started doing. I started writing. I started reading instead of watching TV. This reading then led me to new ideas. I started saving money, which then turned into paying off our debt. I started to realize that doing was getting me much further than doubting, so I just kept on doing. I slowly started to get over the idea of sustaining a travel lifestyle and began to accept the fact that if we could save enough money to travel for a few years, this would also give my family and I time to explore and discover new ideas around work and life. And if things didn't develop as we wished, we would find jobs just as we did many years ago. Only difference would be that now we would actually have some idea of what we are doing.
How do we get there?
The same way we always have. We start doing. We live. We stop making excuses, learn from our mistakes, and move forward. People who go to the moon work really hard and spend a lot of time learning how to land themselves on that big rock. They don't sit around worrying about paychecks, retirement plans, and failed engines - they just go. And then one day they find themselves on the moon - where they have always wanted to be. And if you were to ask them how they got there, what would they say? Would they have some magic pill for you? Would they have a prescribed path for you to follow?
I think not.
To "get there", you just need to to get started. And if this little article isn't enough to get you going, here are some of the books and stories that have motivated and educated me over the past year. They have been great guides, and I'm sure you'll find plenty of information here to help you get there.
How To Live In 24 Hours A Day - I used to listen to this on the way to work while riding the city bus. And it's funny because Arnold Bennett the author is doing the same thing in the book. Just trying to make sense of the "rat race" and figure out how he can do things a bit better.
Zen To Done - Leo Babauta is not only a great blogger/writer, but he has 6 kids! That is all I need to know. I'll buy the productivity guide of anyone who manages to run 6 blogs, write numerous books, stay in shape, and remain focused on being a happy husband and father.
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin - Ben Franklin started his career as a teenager with no money, little formal education, and few personal connections, yet he went on to basically change the way the world works. Very few have managed to do more with less.
The Works Of James Allen - I don't want to say too much about Allen. Just read it. The man had life figured out. He knew about happiness and success and all the rest.
The War of Art - Pulling no punches, Stephen Pressfield gives us the hard truth about turning those ideas of ours into reality. A great, motivating book.
I'm trying to figure out how to get there like everyone else. If you ever have questions, comments, or ideas on "getting there" or changing or travel, you can email me at justinmussler at gmail.com. And you can follow our journey on the bumpy road to the promised land via FACEBOOK and TWITTER.
Tis is great, Justin. a nice reminder, too, that the changes we need to make to reach our goals don't necessarily have to be big ones. Just slightly different turns off the path can lead to vastly different endpoints.
Paige recently posted..Ideas for fun, authentic, and environmentally-friendly souvenirs for kids
YES! Small steps on different paths and you eventually end up some place new.
This is great - and so true! It's important to just take that first step and not be afraid to try new things.
Andrea recently posted..Photography: 7 Super Shots
It is indeed. It's not rocket science. It's just having the courage to move forward.
Woulnd't knowing where you were going and how you were going to get there ruin the fun? I mean, the unknown is what makes it fun and interesting!
Amy recently posted..Dolphins herding Salmon – What a Christmas!
Spoken like a true nomad!
I wish we all lived like you do. At least in the sense of embracing the unknown.
Here's how we planned our trip. Decide one night after midnight that it's a good idea, spend one night working out how much money you can get by selling everything, spend 6 months selling everything and saving, get on the plane!! Easy! I didn't know Leo B had 6 kids - WOW!!
Tracey -Life Changing Year recently posted..25 Things I’ve Learned While Travelling in Asia
I know. I thought the guy was stellar before, but with 6 kids - Geeze!
You are one of the fortunate few who can just do it Tracey! And that is exactly why you are where you are today.
LOVE, love, LOVE it. Yes. It just happens. You make a choice, and magically, it manifests. Impossible to explain, but so true.
James Allen. Had no idea you were a fan. Me too. I've put him down for a while, I need to pick him back up. Rachel Denning introduced me to him a few years back.
Jenn Miller recently posted..Party on the Prairie: A Surprise Trip To Lloydminster, Alberta
You can get all of James Allen on Librevox audiobooks for free. I used to listen to him on the way to work. Great Stuff!
The whole process is very hard to explain.
Cheers to this, Justin. Especially loved this quote: "Once you're on the moon, you kind of get used to it."
Tyler Tervooren recently posted..Common Dilemmas: What if I Have a Family to Support?
Thanks Tyler. Everything seems different once you actually do it. Just like everything can seem scary before you do it. With few exceptions, things are never as bad as they seem.
Our dream is just unfolding but lately I've started to 'wake up in the middle of the night' feeling terrified because it's actually going to happen. We are happy and excited, but also scared, I mean, it's a huge step outside our comfort zone (living in another culture for a year..with teens!). Just curious if you experience this too??
Terrified of other cultures? No, not at all. I don't plan on going to dangerous places, and that would be my only fear about cultures. My only occasional fear has been around giving up the "security" of what we now have. If we were to stay the course, and if everything continued to go as it has, we would have a lot of money and security for our kids down the road. But I have come to realize that security has much more to do with my wife and I than with our jobs. Our jobs are a means to make money, nothing more. Jobs are not security. Anyone who has been laid off will tell you this.
I want to create a sense of security within myself and my kids that allows them to be anywhere, to adjust, and to grow.
I have worked with teens my whole life Joanna and I have always thought that what troubled teens need most is a change in environment. I think the change will do them good. But of course you know your family best, you have to do what is best for you. Just try not to let fear drive your decision. Fears are often based on things that aren't very realistic (my plane is going to crash type of stuff).
Don't misunderstand Joanna, I'm not suggesting anyone just take off for the hills without planning. You have to plan. But you don't have to let your plans control your choices. Bumps in the road and fears shouldn't stop you. Just work and adjust.
What are your fears? Talking to people who live in the areas your thinking of traveling to helps as well. I know some people, email me (justinmussler@gmail.com) and I can probably connect you to some people who can help get you some info.
Great article Justin! I've been thinking a lot about this very idea lately - how does it happen? But ultimately, you just go and the next step will reveal itself to you. It's a bit like jumping off the edge of cliff, trusting that it isn't really a cliff after all, but just a tiny step.
Nancy from Family on Bikes recently posted..Conquer Your Fears So You Can Conquer the World
"L'important c'est pas la chute, c'est l'atterrissage."
- La Haine (1995 French movie from Mathieu Kassovitz)
It translate to something like: "The most important thing is not the fall... it's the landing."
Great post Justin!
I tweeted the quote - now I have to find the movie.
Another great to-the-point article Justin. You deserve to have a great journey, and I am looking forward to reading about it.
Nate @yomadic recently posted..Peles Castle, Romania – Cradle of a Dynasty – Photo Friday
Oh, we will have a great journey. No worries there. This is fun.
Thanks Nate!
So true. I read a book by Don Miller called 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.' It is written so very well. Usually his books are a bit more preachy in terms of Christianity, but this one I really loved (as I don't follow that particular spiritual path any longer). He was asked to make a movie about his first book, and he realized that in reality, his life was boring. If his life was a movie, would he want to watch? He started living a life like the one he would enjoy reading about - he hiked mountains in Peru, he lost weight, he starting doing more interesting things. Great book, your post reminded me a lot about it! Same idea. =) Great post.
Dayna recently posted..Village Life in Bulgaria
I have to get that book. Thank you!
Inspiring article Justin~
As you know, last week we decided to travel the world indefinitely with our 2 children. The hubby and i sitting there, decompressing, watched our screensaver as pictures of our travels (before kids) flickered before our eyes. The moment in time right before it occurred to me that not only is family travel possible, but absolutely necessary for us, I looked at my partner and asked him, "I love being a mom, but why does having children make you feel like you need to compromise your freedom?" "Why does life become scripted?" "How did I get here?"
That very moment, I was struck with fear. The very first fear I can remember having...regrets. I'm thankful that my fear of regrets is much more powerful than my fear of the unknown.
Well Genesis, it is good you are on the path. Why does life become so scripted? I am learning to improvise a bit more.
I look forward to seeing your journey play out.
Just do it! That's really all there is to it, I think.
Sophie recently posted..Winter family fun in Oslo
Just wanted to say thanks for this post. I get asked similar questions about surviving as a photographer and its the same thing as I tell people about my plans to embark on a new lifestyle of traveling. I'm used to venturing into the unknown as a former soldier and I miss experiencing new cultures as I traveled abroad. So I plan to do this again on a greater scale as a civilian. I don't have all the answers, but I'm going for it anyway. Excellent post.
Terrell Neasley recently posted..On the Portraiture
Well, I stayed put for 20 years and that didn't give me all the answers either!
You'll do great Terrell, as long as it's what you want to do. As a former soldier I am sure you had to find times of adjusting and figuring out what to do next. No plans for some of the stuff out there, you just keep pushing forward and deal with what comes next. You'll do great.
I love hearing stuff like this! Thanks Terrell. When you get some nice travel shots, you're welcome to showcase them in a post here.
Justin