Back To The Beginning
Posted on Apr 28, 2012 | 13 comments
Rule #1 should read as follows:
This Journey Never Ends
If you're like me (and you are), then you probably have a tendency to get something important finished and do your big stretch and say,
I feel good. I feel accomplished. I'm gonna do something good for myself. I'm gonna take a break. I'm gonna bend my rules just this once. I'm gonna put my feet up. I did it. Yippee for me. I'm wonderful.
Bad idea kid. Bad idea.
If you're on that path in the woods in the middle of nowhere, the more you stray from the path, the greater your chance of getting lost. It's just the way things are. It's the way this whole game works. You got to be one experienced woodsman to be able to find your way back when you get lost, and I for one am not very experienced. I better just stick to the path.
I have to admit that I have been stretching and patting myself on the back a bit too much lately. I got cocky. I got loose around all those things I rant and rave about here. Things like focus, balance, doing, goals, and work - and the results haven't been good.
I'll tell you. I'm not sure why it works this way, but when you stray from that focus and balance and all the rest, that's when the little problems become big problems, and that's when life gets messy.
Time to get back on the path.
Going Back To The Starting Line
When I started this whole adventure I had 4 goals:
1) Spend more time with my family than anything else.
2) Travel the world.
3) Help others.
4) Work for ourselves.
Now, what I want to do is make sure I'm on a path that will get me closer to living out these 4 goals. Back in the beginning we set these goals for a reason. We believed in them, and we still do. No matter how much things change over time, our goals should stay the same. They never end. They're never complete. They are lifestyle goals, and if we want our lives to be a certain way, we have to keep working towards the goals that will help us achieve the life we want.
Spending More Time With Family
Nope. Not really. I hate to say it, but after more than a year, I don't think we are spending more "time" together as a family. Now in fairness, I don't think we're doing any worse than we were before. We are a pretty close family. We have fun, but we don't do as much together as we would like.
And we could throw our jobs out there as excuses, but what's the point in that? Excuses don't help change anything. What we have to do is figure out the best ways to make our family a priority when we are together. If we have an hour of family time, we can't waste it. We need to make things work with what we have now.
If quality family time was an assignment I had at work or at school I would get it done - end of story. We're making some big changes. More to come on this down the path.
Traveling The World
One thing I have come to know is that world travel is not that hard. It's not. Actually, it might be the easiest of all the goals here. People travel everyday with very little world experience and very little money. You just buy a ticket and go. I know, I've done it. It really is easy.
The hard part for people like us is deciding what to do with all the crap and nonsense we have added to our current lifestyles here at home. If we had never bought homes, collected debt, and got locked into our daily routines, we'd be gone by now. But, here we are, still plugging away and trying to get through all the "stuff" we've added to our lives over the years. We're getting there, but we're not there yet. So, got to just keep going. We've got 3-4 big tasks to get done and then I think we're free. I'll talk more about these in the weeks to come. We're close, but I don't want to saying we're achieving this goal quite yet. We'll be traveling the world when we're traveling the world.
Helping Others
Well, for this goal I would have to say we've done a pretty good job. I know we've helped a lot of people through this website, and both Heidi and I help people everyday in our jobs. And beyond that, we have developed a really good idea for a non-profit we want to start up as we travel and that could really help people as well. So YES, we've helped people a lot, maybe even too much. Might be time for us to shift some of goal-seeking efforts back on ourselves.
Work For Ourselves
While we are not yet self-employed, we have figured out many ways in which we can work for ourselves as we travel. Having the ability to work for yourself really comes down to two things: Education and Discipline. You have to be able to teach yourself and learn new skills, and you have to be willing to set and follow your own work schedule. Ideas are easy. Making money is easy. Presenting your ideas in a way that will make you money - this is where the work comes in. I still get lazy. I still doubt. I still make a ton of mistakes. But, it's 4:25 AM on a Saturday and here I am. You just keep going towards the goal and one day you'll be living it.
Are we working for ourselves right now? No, not really, but we know how to do it now. And we know we can do it now. And once we need to do it, once we exit the "real" world with the backpacks, we'll be able to do it. So, overall? Yes, I think we have done a pretty good job with this goal.
Over the past 15 months we are pretty much 50/50 as far as our goals are concerned. We need to get back to family and stay focused on the dream of travel, but we have accomplished a lot. Big plans like ours tend to evolve, and that is fine, but the goals should stay the same. It's good to go back and address your goals. It feels good.
Remember, no matter what happens, you got into this game for some pretty good reasons. You wanted change. You wanted something more. You had goals. Don't forget that.
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That's great that you guys are on track. I agree, goals tend to evolve. We're still waiting to hear about China but in the meantime we are evolving our goals. We might get there by travelling across our country (Canada) westward first, then onward. Travelling & experiencing is the key and getting closer in our family. This should be interesting with teens who don't want to be close to their parents (ha ha). I just hope we don't have to 're-address' our goals when we are arguing in a small hotel room in the middle of Manitoba or something. Guess that's the 'closer' part.
Thanks Joanna,
I totally believe that the want or need to be "closer" comes from society, especially with children. Our western society does not teach kids to be closer to family. Instead, it teaches them to be independent: to get a job and get out of the house. I think you will see a huge change in your family as you travel. You just have to be really willing to work at it.
Don't think we don't have our share of arguments. We do, but we work really hard to fix things for next time. You'll do great.
Hey Joanna - we just had a teenage rant last night. "we aren't used to spending so much time with our family!!". "we are programmed to spend time with our friends!". " You are not our friends!!"". BAHAHAHAHAHAHA......."Whatever, suck it up princesses"....was my motherly response!! As long as you know it will happen you can be prepared with a more motherly answer than mine!!! Good Luck!!
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Thing is, the kids say things like this at home as well, right? We have arguments everywhere. I'm sure it gets toughest out in the middle of nowhere. Try Austin! The older ones will love Austin and New Orleans.
Nothing is perfect all the time!
i agree with you! and family is the best travel companion!
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Great that you guys are always checking your goals and reorienting as needed.
The determination is what seems to be lacking. It seems somehow much easier to pick an extreme and go full force. It takes a lot of energy to keep a balance. Though we are working on our goals (not all that different from yours) one step at a time.
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Yep, you got it. The extremes are so much easier to choose, but then that is why so many of us fail as well. Nice insight! Balance takes forever to develop, but once you find it, it gets easier. Like you said, one step at a time.
All 4 goals are pretty cool! I wish more people took time to think about helping others to make this a little smoother world. Little things can go a long way. opening doors, tipping better, just listening to people, period. You guys are doing a great job! As far as working for one self. Woooooooooooooooooooooow!!! This is definitely a MUST! I highly recommend it. It might be creepy in the beginning but if you survive it is definitely another level. I have been on my own for over 16 months. I might not be rich yet but i am surviving. I don't know if i could ever work for a company again 9 to 5. I feel a bit too old to put up with the politics and bull of it all. Great article!
Man, I am so happy to hear you say that! An "rich" doesn't matter, your rich in other ways. How do you put a value on the time you have with your son right now??? That will impact him forever.
It's really interesting to see you struggling with stuff we did about 12 months ago. The difference for us was we decided to go and just a few months later we went. We didn't have to keep up our motivation for too long and then we were off. You have planned a lot better and have a much longer launch period so it's probably harder to keep focus sometimes. And you've sure helped us heaps! When I opened my emails this morning (sitting on a picnic table at a campsite in Texas (to use their wifi!)) I found this post as well as another email from you giving me some travel tips for Texas!! AWESOME!! I will note one thing. With our super fast selling, packing, giving away etc we had barely any time for family towards the end!! I agonized over this as it was directly opposite to the reasons we were going to travel. I worried a couple of times at 4am when I was still ebaying and Jono had gone to sleep on my floor that more damage would be done in the launch period than could be undone in the year away. But it was fine. My kids are bigger so can accept a little neglect!! They can understand the big picture - even Jono. Of all the kids he is enjoying the new sights the most!! Just hang in there - before you know it you'll be off and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about! Now, I just have to work out the earning income bit......
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We have dragged it out to long. That I can see now, but then again, we didn't have much of a choice. If we we're going for a year, then we would have rented our house and just gone. We are tying up all the loose ends and leaving nothing that is going to come back and bite us later(hopefully). Also, having the young kids makes work a bit tough, but that is where we are at right now. Lots of little reasons, but we are focused like never before. No worries here. It will happen. The killer is when you go away and return. You see things from a different perspective and it kills you.
We had the same experience as Tracey when leaving! It was such a busy and stressful time we nearly killed each other before we left. And we didn't even have kids to worry about! But sitting here right now in a cosy hostel in Venezuela all that is in the past and life is pretty good! We are really coming to terms with how much freedom there is now that we have left. So so so much freedom...
It's so nice to see the simplicity of your goals, we have similar goals yet not so eloquently put!
It was such a busy and stressful time we nearly killed each other before we left. But sitting here right now in a cosy hostel in Venezuela all that is in the past and life is pretty good!
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