Why We Choose Travel
Posted on Jun 9, 2011 | 6 comments
When our daughter Maggie turned about a year old we bought her a playhouse. Nothing spectacular, just one of those plastic models with the drop-down kitchen table and few buttons and knobs here and there.
As she started walking, exploring the house became part of her daily routine. Days were spent opening and closing shutters, playing peek-a-boo and constantly checking to see if her oven had created anything new and tasty for her to share with us.
A few years later, Maggie was 3 and she had managed to turn her playhouse into town's first 4-star restaurant. 7 days a week she shelled out plastic carrots and rubber tacos and her mom and I ate until we simply couldn't fake another bite. She was magic in the kitchen. Her dolls and stuffed animals were well fed, her neighborhood friends became frequent patrons, and life in our tiny backyard was pretty sweet.
A year or so later, the Casa de la Zanahoria Plastico was forced to close its doors. The local patrons, stuffed animals and even the renowned chef had left the place deserted. The once grand house of imagination had returned to it's original form: A simple, poorly-made, plastic toy. Maggie is now only interested in climbing on the roof of her old restaurant and seeing how far she could jump from the roof's edge.
A few days after Maggie's 5th birthday I took the playhouse out to the trash. It was a mess - all covered in mold and tree sap. None of us ever thought twice about getting rid of it. It was time for all of us to move on.
I will always remember distinctly when Maggie first got up on the roof of that playhouse. I was miserable on that day. We had just come back from a short vacation and I was all pissy about having to return to work and set my alarm - the reality of the 9 to 5 was really starting to sting. I was pacing and kicking stones in angst. Then I spotted Maggie sitting on the roof of that house.
As far as I know, Maggie is a softy. She's cautious. Careful. And yet, there she is, and now she's standing on the roof. She's 5 feet off the ground and I can see now that she's gonna jump.
Before I can say anything, or even make a motion in her direction, she's airborne and I'm left frozen - offering nothing but a nervous smile. Maggie lands, her knees find the wood chips and she grimaces. She gets up slowly, wipes the dirt and chips from her knees, and heads back to the playhouse for more. All is well.
It's pretty cool how kids find ways to challenge themselves. How they learn something new, love it intensely, and then one day swap it for something else. I'm not sure we adults possess the same capacity for learning. We often get stuck, bogged down - we get old and settle. We stop.
For the sake of my kids, I just never want this to happen.
Why We Choose Travel
There are many reasons why we choose to travel. Of course we want to see the world, try new foods, meet new people and spend more time with our children - that's what family travel is all about. But for us there is a greater reason still.
When Maggie was born we were in the middle of trying to flip a house. While she laid there asleep in her car seat, we were sanding and painting and sanding and painting. We didn't know any better, we were just trying to make a living. But I don't think it's something we ever really wanted to do and eventually we wound up developing a contempt for the whole process. It didn't matter if it had to do with paying the mortgage, pulling weeds or shopping at IKEA - we just really grew to hate all of it. It became an endless, unfulfilling waste of time. And despite this, when Maggie's first birthday rolled around, what did I suggest we get her for a gift?
A FREAKIN' HOUSE!
Now you try and make some sense of that.
You see, it's all about your environment. The majority of us gravitate to what surrounds us. We become part of our environment. We bought a house for Maggie because that's just what people around us do. In our neighborhood people buy houses, drive SUV's, and start saving for college when their kids are born. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, but sometimes it feels like you don't have a choice, especially if you're a kid. Maggie would have loved anything we gave her. She would have loved anywhere we took her. It was never about the plastic house, it was about us.
Tell Me Something
Why are there so many houses with 4 bathrooms? Who possibly needs 4 bathrooms? Wal-Mart doesn't even have 4 bathrooms.
Why does nearly every suburban, American tot start playing soccer?
Why is a white, picket fence so cute and alluring?
I know we have a choice to not buy into the idyllic draw of these things, but it sure seems like a battle sometimes.
Say we lived in Korea? India? Panama?
You think picket fences rate as high on the cuteness scale in these places?
As parents, we want our kids to have a choice. And without hesitation, we believe that travel, as much as anything, affords them choice.
We choose to travel so we can create our own environment. We choose to wander so that we can get a little slice of everything and give our children the opportunity to choose for themselves who it is that they want to be.
Watching Maggie in those early years taught us one thing:
KIDS ARE BRAVE AND CURIOUS CREATURES IF WE ALLOW THEM TO BE.
They will absorb all that they see. They will find their own playhouses. They will jump when they are ready.
All we have to do is guide them and make sure they have some choice.
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I love the anecdotes in this. It's got to be my favourite of yours posts yet!
We've stopped for three months for work, and we're about 4 weeks from moving on. The kids don't care how much or little we can give them, they want our company. They love the exploration and experience of travel, get wrapped up in seeing new things -- but ultimately it's whereever mum and dad are that they want to be.
Thanks Amy! I could have gone on for a week on this. I can't say enough about how much kids just need the opportunity to explore under the guidance of their parents or an adult. They live for that support! As well, there is so much pressure for conformity, at least amongst many people I know across the US, I think it really limits the potential of kids. Big topics, small post. Thanks!
This is honestly one of the best articles I have read. You are not only a great writer, but you also are a big thinker; most people never dare to question the 'small' or 'normal'. I was just thinking last night how we lose something as adults, I think it is the ability to feel. When I recount moments of my childhood and teens, each moment has a feeling linked to it. An intense feeling of joy or excitement I now lack. I'm 28 and feel gloomy compared to back then. But travel and questioning life ( both integral) are what gives me light in the tunnel, as I start to enter the spiritual realm and leave behind the mundane.
I traveled extensively as a kid, and even when my mom was pregnant ( she almost had me in Switzerland...I seriously wish she had...). I know how much those adventures did to me, to my mind and spirit. I want my mind and heart open, and I want to pass that on to my kids. Because of my childhood, I can't hold a 9 to 5 as I am inept at schedules. I used to look at this as a downer, as I wasn't normal and was looked at as lazy. Now, I am actually becoming proud of it. I don't want my daughter comforming, so I must not do that myself.
Keep writing and I can't wait to read your posts!!
Big Thanks! Some very kind words. Glad you liked it.
My experiences have been quite different, but in the end I pretty much feel the same. I think as a kid everything was new and so everything was interesting and exciting. As we get older, new is harder to find, but for me, new and interesting and challenging and bold all make me happy so I seek them out. I think both Heidi and I want to keep the world new and fresh for our kids. You can certainly do that from home or anywhere in the world, but as kids age and a family becomes engrained in a culture, it gets harder and harder for kids and adults to see outside their own little box. I work with kids from urban environments and I often take them to the woods to get "lost". It's quite funny actually. The first few times they go they are in a panic, scared, unsure. But overtime they adjust and soon they are springing from rocks. Sure enough, I have friends from out of town come and visit the city and they react pretty much the same way. It's all about creating brave and secure kids who can go out and find what makes them happy. Are their more ways to do this than travel? YES! But we choose travel.
Hillarious!!! That was great! Maggie just politely left and dumped the good old restaurant after a few successful years. Sounds like a serious entrepeneur in the making there.
This is interesting, as the other day I entered one of those baby stores by the mall (first time ever in my life) and I saw all the baby hummers and Cadillac Escalades. I was blown away! What on earth!?! How long has this been available for kids!?!? I'm not even going to lie. I did get kind of excited imagining Lil E driving around the backyard on a badass Escalade with the dogs trailing in the background. Growing up all we had was sports and more sports. Our pride and joy was our BMX bike and our shoes. At some point Atari entered our world... but it never surpassed the good old sports.
Anyway, great story!...........I will let you know if i get that baby Escalade or we choose to go the Greatfamilyescape route!
E
Eddy Baez recently posted..Endless possibilities
I get it. I don't blame you one bit if you get that car. I did the same thing.
Just don't be surprised when little E comes knocking on your door at 20 asking for money cause he is behind in payments on his Hummer - Version 17
Glad you liked the story. True and very much the reason we are traveling. Kids grow fast and they seek knowledge. We are lucky and maybe naive enough to think we can afford them that.