Why Would Anyone Want To Travel Forever?
Posted on May 28, 2012 | 32 comments
Tonight I find myself in a hotel. The kids are wiped. The parents are done. All is well.
We just spent the past weekend in the woods with friends. We swam. We cooked by the fire. We ate cheap food. And we saw snakes. We had a wonderful time.
People ask why we want to travel. Why we choose to give up our seemingly secure and privileged life for a taste of the unknown, unsettled world.
Well, it's pretty simple. Every time we travel, every time we head away from home and just go, our family finds a common ground. By the time it's time to go home, we all realize that home is just not where we want to be.
Now some people might say this means we're running away from something.
I've heard this before.
Maybe you guys just need to make some changes to your work schedule. Maybe if you take some time off you'll be able to focus. Maybe if you just be patient. Maybe if you mix things up a bit. Maybe if you start exercising more. Maybe if you eat better. Maybe if you watch less sports. Maybe if you read this book. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
The truth is that our home is fine. It always has been. We're happy there. My children have had wonderfully happy childhoods and their parents have had a wonderfully happy time raising them. Happy, happy, happy, but not happy enough.
Let me ask you something.
When you go into an ice cream shop and order an ice cream, what flavor do you choose?
I choose peanut butter and chocolate, or maybe something with brownies, or maybe dulce de leche. But sometimes they don't have those flavors. Sometimes they have peach, or vanilla, or black raspberry. I don't really prefer peach ice cream, but it's alright. I eat it. It makes me happy, but not as happy as chocolate peanut butter brownie - not even close.
Traveling with my family is like eating chocolate peanut butter brownie ice cream every day, and without the weight gain. And to add to that, every member of my family loves it just as much as I do. In our house, we argue more over ice cream than we do over travel. We know what we love. We know what we want. And yes, we are "happy" doing what we do now. It's a great life, it's wonderful, but it's vanilla. We want PB & Cocoa.
Are We Selfish?
Yes! Of course! This is my family - you bet I'm selfish. I want the best for me and everyone else. Plain and True.
Do you buy TVs? Cars? Dishes? Dresses? Shoes? Do you buy things you don't need, but that make you happy?
Great! So do I. I buy travel. I buy time. I buy the opportunity to expose myself, my wife, and my kids to the many lenses of the world. I buy the chance to help, grow, and change. I buy fun moments. I buy working for myself. I buy an alarm clock that goes off when I really want it to. I buy 3 months living and working 10 hour days on a farm in Nicaragua while my kids learn humility and Spanish. I buy learning to live on half of what we are used to living on. I buy less, and with less I buy so much more.
Is it selfish to want to be happy? Yes. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
What Makes Us Happy?
A few years ago I couldn't have answered this question. Maybe I still I can't, but I'm getting there.
What makes us happy is doing what makes us happy.
Now I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's not.
What makes me happy is learning, actively spending time with my family and friends, being able to really help someone else, being creative, seeing new things, playing competitive sports, and eating chocolate/peanut butter ice cream. I know the things that make me happy, but rarely have I done these things in my life. I've spent most of my days over the past 15 years in meetings, or running errands, or wondering what makes us happy.
Then a few years ago my wife and I just basically said 'screw it'. We don't have to do anything. We're smart. We're responsible. We're hard workers. We'll be fine. Forget the vanilla life. Let's do what we want.
This post is part of a group project. When people get the itch to travel or do something different, they can't help but wonder if they're doing the right thing. Are their motives pure? Do they want to travel, or are they just tired? Are they running to something or running away from something?
I was tagged for this project by Talon at 1 Dad, 1 Kid. Talon is exploring the world with his son, and I think we feel similar about this whole travel thing.
"I was running to a better life, a life I dreamed up and created, a life of spending more time with my son, working less, teaching my child to appreciate what he has instead of constantly setting his eyes on the bigger and greater next “thing,” a life where I could truly live more."
Well said Talon!
And now I tag my friend Gabi over at the The Nomadic Family.
Enjoy This Post? Stay Connected With Us.
Via Email: Click Here | Via RSS: Click Here
On Facebook: Click Here | On Twitter: Click Here
Yes, Yes, YES! "What makes us happy is doing what makes us happy." This whole post resonated so much with me. There's always fear, and doubt, and it seems amplified when we take that leap to do what REALLY makes us happy. At times I feel slightly guilty to have made the decision to make me happy, and that's so wrong. This project was a great idea, and this was a great post. I'll be sure to check the rest of them out!
Lindsey recently posted..A Spending Diet
I think you are absolutely correct. Eventhough our days on the road were not always amazing, 95% of the experience or experiment was phenomenal. We wouldn't have given it up for anything.
Also, I recently read an article about a study conducted on happiness which came with a pretty definitive answer on what makes us happy. The answer? Happiness is surrounding yourself by people who share mutual love, appreciation and passion in life. Simple isn't it?
Martin Pietrzak recently posted..Niko enjoying the Loro Parque on Tenerife (Canary Islands)
Good point, and yes it is simple, but we make it hard I guess. It doesn't all have to be thrills. It's not about perfection. It's a lifestyle. Living a life you want, that makes you happy. I as well will not give it up for anything. Thanks Martin!
I think I mostly experience happiness as a by-product of pursuing something bigger...
Jill recently posted..15 minutes on a Siem Reap street corner
I LOVED the "Are We Selfish?" section -- I'll start using that analogy! So great--and true
Such a goood post. Thanks for sharing
Nomadic Translator @latinAbroad recently posted..Travel bucket list: Silk Road overland trip. What’s on yours? Share!
Use it! It's yours! Thanks!
As you can imagine I've had similar discussions. The "aren't you just selfish?...." question really gets me. It's usually asked while we're sitting in someone's home who's wearing designer clothes while we sit in their living room with a huge TV and sound system! LOL. We all have our priorities!
Clark Vandeventer recently posted..I love hearing, “have a great vacation,” when I’m not on vacation
People don't say it much at all too us. But we all sometimes know what someone is thinking. Are those who send their kids to school and daycare all day selfish, or are they "doing it for their kids?" I don't know. I don't care much either. Point is that we are all selfish. Everyone. The only time your not selfish is when your doing something you despise for someone else and getting nothing in return. Now who does that? Even those who volunteer do it cause they like it. No one with a flat screen should ever call anyone else selfish.
Loved this post. I always find it funny when people ask when you'll go back to a "normal" life, or question your motives. To me, it's really just as simple as what you said above: "What makes us happy is doing what makes us happy". For us, it's traveling, or living abroad. For our friends, it may be raising a family, getting a promotion, or moving into that dream home. That's fine too. There shouldnt be a distinction between the two. But one is far more common than the other, so I've come to expect these doubts and smile every time they come up. Love the project, and already follow 1Dad/1Kid, so I'll look forward to following it. Safe travels.
10kJuan recently posted..CHOOSING A BRAZILIAN SOCCER TEAM, Part II- The Group Stage
Thanks Juan! You're right, to each his own. Part of this project is just exposing options in life. If you're really happy in that house, GREAT! If not, move - and go do what makes you happy.
It does seem so simple when you put it like that, of course you want to do things that make you happy; and travel does indeed make some people happy (me included). But it's weird how many people can take that negatively, but hey, who cares about those people! I agree with Martin above, it's all about surrounding yourself with people who have the same passion and appreciation of life
Jarmo recently posted..The 39th Cambridge Beer Festival
That makes 3 of us!
I love the ice cream analogy. I kept nodding my head as I read, because I completely agree. Why does traveling have to be perceived as irresponsible?
I think people perceive "travel" as either fancy hotels and tours, or backpackers in Thailand. But there is so much more to travel. It is ignorance spiked with jealousy - nothing more. Thanks Ava!
I think it may be curiosity too. You're doing something different from the everyday and that gets people thinking, creates controversy, and forces people (sometimes kicking and screaming) to examine their own lives....keep it up!!!!
That is very true. I wrote an article on curiosity and travel: http://www.greatfamilyescape.com/the-need-to-travel/
Great point! Thanks for the comment!
ps. I took my son to art class when he was three and was fascinated when I saw the kids scooping up gobbs of glue and glitter, and splashes of paint and crayon--for no greater purpose other than to see what happened. I love your willingness to experiment, mix it up and just take a chance. How exciting to not know what will happen...sounds like an adventure!
You're all gaining something that can never be taken away from you. Experiencing life as a family with new cultures and locations. Yay!
Cynthia Scarborough recently posted..Kitesurfing In Volusia County
i don't care much for the naysayers who try to bring you back to the only world they know of and feel secure in. it's completely fine for others to have a different reality than your own. whether thats a life of perpetual travel or stuck in a dayjob.
janet recently posted..I’m a Loner, Dottie, a Rebel
Well said! It is completely fine. I wasn't directing it so much at others, but myself. People ask us "Why??" all the time. I think people might have the idea in their head (or at least something similar) and just need to see someone else try it first. It helps I think. Thanks Janet!
It's completely fine for others to have a different reality than your own.Thanks for sharing these with us.
Ella recently posted..Good Low Carb Diets
I loved it! The icecream analogy, the selfish section, really just great post. I look forward to living my caramel crunch life and leaving behind all the vanilla.
Caramel Crunch sounds pretty sweet!
Do what makes you happy, and if it's travel, then roll with it. I'd rather have my favorite ice cream every day, too!
Nicely said Justin. Of course, you are preaching to the choir here. It's much harder for those who haven't done it to understand it. I know my husband and I would hit the road again in a heartbeat, but my girls like being teens in a consistent environment. Hopefully they got out of travel what they need to and when they're ready, they will return. And once they are off to college (or somewhere else), I guess they'll have to head to Indonesia or someplace else to celebrate mother's day or father's day with us.
We've been living abroad and traveling for 2 years now and have recently returned to the US for a 3 week visit so that we can sell the rest of our stuff and visit family. Three weeks is a long time for us to be away from 'home' even though at the moment we are homeless. We are in a moving transition from Belize to Bali.
It has been an interesting experience as friends and family look at us like their not sure if aliens have possessed our minds. We get the familiar looks of "you'll get this out of your system" or "you only have a few more years until your kids go to school, then you'll have to come back" or, better yet, the "why are you doing this to yourselves, you had such a happy life", as if traveling is akin to torture. Then we tell them we have no plans to stop until plans change, just to give them some hope.
I don't think you can explain to someone who doesn't have the same sense of adventure and passion for exploration that this is fun, interesting, intriguing and life-affirming.
Are we being selfish? Oh yes...for us, our children, our minds and ability to relate to humans of different cultures.
Then again, perhaps it's selfish to stay inside the box and only do what is comfortable for you, never to reach out, never to follow your passions.
On a happiness note...I've found that I'm truly happy when I no longer ask myself if I'm happy.
A King's Life recently posted..Selling Stuff & Letting Go of Ego and Fear
What a great education all of this is for your kids. Stability is so overrated! I think I learned a lot from going on caravanning journeys through France when I grew up - it brought the family closer and taught us to appreciate the simple things in life. This is on a much bigger scale and so wonderful for them. If I ever have kids I hope I'll have the confidence to follow in your footsteps!
Arianwen recently posted..Embracing the runs abroad
Thank you for this post and your site.
It is truly liberating learning that there are other people out there who think like me.
I am a 25 year old girl who have been trying to get a bachelors degree, wich is very important to my parents. I have now studied for a year and a half and dont feel like going on at all.
I will try to be brave, and despite what my family says, go out and explore.
And if I dont have a degree or a fancy job, so be it.
I will try to get by on less, keeping in mind that every shirt i buy, every time i eat at a restaurant i am using an hour of my time spent at work . And to think if it is really worth it.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Wish you a happy life
I love this post, and I also love the are we selfish part. I guess that in a way whether you travel or stay at home, we are all selfish in some ways, I prefer your kind of selfish than the ones who wants to own more and more by far. Keep being marveled and keep traveling.
Normand Boulanger recently posted..Links
For some travel is a diversion. For many of us, it is a passion1
Congrats on making the "100 Reasons To Travel" list by Trip Logic - http://goo.gl/7yH6Q. As a fairly new blogger, I was pleased to make the list as well (# 16).
If you have a moment, check out my admittedly quirky travel blog at http://www.travelbyterry.com. It’s a fun read, or meant to be at least. ;0)
Terry Denton recently posted..Side Trip to the Sensational: A Remarkable Resort
That post struck a chord with me, thanks! We are 6 months away from leaving ( isn't it amazing how many families do this?), the money is stacking up, it's getting closer. It's about learning for me, too, for the children and the grown ups, I don't think there is anything more important than finding out about the world at source. My priority has always been travel, that's where our money has gone, not fancy travel, cheap travel, the sort that gives you more experiences/$. I'm fine in a tent or a grotty hostel so long as I'm out there, living life. We have a lovely home in a beautiful location, we are happy, but somehow, I feel life is passing me by if I'm not travelling.
Alyson recently posted..Ayutthaya Floating Market, With A Tiger
It is pretty amazing! We had no idea when we started this.
If you feel it's right, it probably is!
Thanks, Alyson!